I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
