There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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