it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
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