He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
