I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
