tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I want a musical about memes.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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