I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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