I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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