Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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