Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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