i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
