loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
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It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
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Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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