i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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