I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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