can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
