My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize