I feel like abortions should bother me more
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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