JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
