I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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