You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
