I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
