Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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