so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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