loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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