you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
