The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
