She's JV to your varsity
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
