I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
