I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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