YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
