can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My liver just had a heart attack.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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