I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
