you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
