um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
