Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
