I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
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I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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