Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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