That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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