didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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