No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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