Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
