Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
