I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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