I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
