You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just cropdusted the office
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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