He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
