I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
