so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
