if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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