me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
