forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
