There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
