: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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