Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
