Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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