Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
